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Cathy, Amanda and Sarah Have a Big Adventure

22 October 2013

A tongue-in-cheek account of our adventures at the Northern Cram this year

Cathy, Amanda and Sarah were having a day out. They had been to sunny Yorkshire for the Northern Heats of the Janet Cram Awards. It had been a very long day and they were tired but happy that everything had gone so well. All the girls and boys at the dance competition had danced very well and nearly all their teachers had behaved well too. They got into Cathy’s car and started to drive back down the A1 to London.

“Oh dear” said Cathy as the car started to slow down and all the electrical things stopped working. “Maybe it’s the alternator”, they all said. Cathy stopped the car by the side of the A1 and put her orange flashing lights on (she looked lovely). They all got out of the car and Cathy phoned the AA to ask a nice man to come and help them.

“Oh dear” said a worried lorry driver on the A1, “it’s getting dark and those ladies are in a dangerous place. I’d better ring the police.” Cathy and Sarah were still wearing the pretty dresses they had been wearing all day and thought it would be a good idea to change into their jeans and jumpers on the side of the A1, which might have affected his judgement.

“Oh dear”, said the two young blonde policewomen in a squad car with flashing blue lights, “that’s not a safe place to stop”. So they got lots and lots of white and orange traffic cones out of their car and spent a long time arranging them on the road. Then they re-arranged them. (Note to teachers – is this the policewoman equivalent of tidying the bottom of the wardrobe or the knicker drawer? Discuss).

“Oh dear”, said Will the tall, dark, hunky, truck driver, “I’ll have to tow you to the lay-by”.

“Oh dear”, said Will again (nice boy but limited vocab), “your alternator is broken”. So Will very kindly lent Cathy his spare battery. Will followed Cathy’s car to the next service station, but it was shut so they had to drive to the next one instead. Will said goodbye and that one of his friends with a bigger truck was coming to help.

Cathy, Amanda and Sarah were very hungry by now but the man in the service station, not quite as nice as Will, but not bad, made them toasted paninis and allowed them to buy a bottle of rosé wine as well. Cathy, Amanda and Sarah felt much better.

“Oh dear”, said Andy, the next truck driver, “ I can only take you as far as Peterborough”. Which he did.

“Oh dear”, said Martin, the next truck driver, “we’ve got a long way to go back to London”.

Much later that night Martin stopped his big truck at South Mimms on the A1 where Sarah’s very sweet husband came and picked her up – then he drove to Godstone where Amanda’s fully functional car was parked and she drove all the way home to Kent. Then he stopped at Lingfield where Cathy and the car lived.

“Oh dear”, said Cathy, Amanda and Sarah, “what a long day”. “Oh dear”, said Martin, “what a long drive home”. But they were all safe at home at last.

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